A much needed girls night out brought up a topic that I feel strongly about. I have been very single for six months now, and I admit there have been some times recently when loneliness has crept in. My friends know what I have been through and the level of stress I experience lately. With good intentions, they decided I needed to get laid. It was said more than once that it would do me good to have a one night stand. This is something I have never done despite the fact that I have been single most of my life. It wasn’t just a couple girls pushing, but a large diverse group of women. I know that sex is now the basis of dating. In fact sex has lost all meaning in society. It is more like a sport now. That is just not how I am wired.
If you are lonely and go out for a one night stand, what do you get out of it? You are still alone the next morning. There is a level of guilt associated with it, especially if alcohol is involved. You can convince yourself that you used him, but you in fact were used. How special could you possibly feel when he could have chosen another drunk woman and it would have meant as much? Is thirty minutes of pleasure really worth being used and tossed aside? It is so often the answer when someone goes through hard times, especially relationship issues or break ups. What I cannot understand is what people believe it repairs.
Maybe I am missing something. It is possible that it is an adventure I will one day regret never experiencing. Still I think I will keep my morals where they are. Sex is great, but it has nothing on companionship. I would get more out of it if I could pick a guy up from the bar and stay up talking all night fully clothed. My loneliness has nothing to do with sex, I want someone to share my thoughts with. Sexy is intelligent conversation and making plans. Instead of trying to get laid, take me hiking.
One night stands are not the solution to whatever you are missing. Allow sex to still have meaning by waiting till it is with someone you want to have coffee with in the morning. Just my thoughts on the subject.